How To Get your loved ones to accept your Natural Hair
I put up the above picture of my mum and I on Instagram a few days ago with the following caption;
In my home, everyone went natural after I showed them they could do it. Now, when one of us touches her hair, everyone else follows. ? Naturalhair washday and styling is a now an additional sister, mummy & family bonding time.
The picture was actually taken when I was about to restyle my hair into the Creative Versatile Updo, when my mum walked in and began to loosen her freshly deep conditioned twists to show me how much her hair had grown. (Her hair had previously been in braids for a month).
However, what I did not expect when I put up this picture was the mixed responses I received.
I got messages from people telling me how lucky I was that my family accepted my hair and others saying their family thinks they are crazy for attempting to grow and wear their natural hair. (-__-)
So you can imagine my surprise.
I never thought natural hair can be viewed so negatively in 2016, especially since there is a very obvious movement happening.
Sigh, because of this, this post was born.
Let me tell you a bit more about the story of how I actually convinced everyone in my household that natural hair is the best option.
To be honest,it was simple. I just had to show them natural hair is not impossible.
However, not everyone converted immediately.
My youngest sister Amaka (the dancer) was the first one on board when I moved back to Nigeria.
She saw my curls and immediately stated, ‘I’m not relaxing my hair again’. Then interestingly, my brothers followed.
They were eager to know how I got my hair so soft and how I could manage its fullness.
(Boys want to know too).
On the other hand, my mum kept telling me whenever she saw me detangling, “I don’t think I have the patience for natural hair oh”. haha
Now, her hair is 2 years natural as you can see in the picture above and you’ll be surprised at how fast she detangles.
I never tried to force anyone to go natural.
Chinwe Juliet
The toughest person I had to convince was my second sister. She had the nerve to even relax her hair in my bathroom.
😭
That night I felt totally defeated but you would be surprised to know that, only a few days after, she swore off relaxers when she noticed how limp, damaged and unhealthy her hair looked compared to mine.
Sometimes, you have to allow people to see what’s good for them.
Chinwe Juliet
I believe everyone has the right to wear their hair the way they want to. So don’t try to force anyone to go natural. Rather, if anyone of you are having a hard time with your family and/or friends accepting your natural hair, please be patient.
Remember that going natural takes place in the mind first.
Chinwe Juliet
…and some people are easier to convince than others so allow time to prove that you made the right decision.
After all, its taken decades if not centuries for us to finally learn and see the beauty of our hair and we are still a long way off, hence, this post.
So be happy, be confident, love your kinks, coils, curls and soon you’ll be an inspiration for others.
Love,
Chinwe Juliet
How did your family and/or friends react when they first saw you with your natural hair? How did you manage to convince them? Share your stories below. You never know, you might be helping someone.
8 comments
Lovely post! And beautiful pictures of you and your fam! 🙂
I was alone when I went natural, but all but one of my friends are natural now, and the last one is transitioning. I didn’t ever preach to them, they just saw how I was doing it and they felt encouraged to. Mom & sis are still relaxed, but they are in the hair thing. Just this past weekend, I realised how many conversations I have with my little cousins about hair. Every new style I do prompts an interrogation, or for everyone to declare their opinion. Once in a purple moon, my dad sends me a hairstyle he sees somewhere. It can be a little too much sef sometimes lol, but I love it.
By being happy and confident with your hair, the people around you will get to love what they see. But, if you are unsure, I think people feed off that and it also affects how they take it.
Your Dad sends you hairstyles? Omg!!!! That is AMAZING!! My Dad tells people I’m a hair doctor. haha 😀 and they should meet me to grow their natural hair long. Only today, he got me two new clients. I also have friends I haven’t spoken to in years tag me in natural hairstyle photos and it just simply fuels the fact that, believing in what you do will make others believe in it too.
I got tired of my hair and the scalp burns in 2009 and did a BC. After my sister saw how my hair grew, she did a long transition under weaves and a couple of years later my mom did too. They still get on me about cutting my hair frequently, but I’m glad that we all have healthy hair.
Yes dearie. Healthy hair is what matters. Bless you!
My husband is in total support of it and some of my friends are too. It’s just that I’ve not done any major change aside from transitioning, I even still use my sulphur shampoo (though I added red onions to it because I read someplace that it helps grow hair)sometimes I wear my hair to work in afro because after washing, my hair is so shrunken that I cannot pack it into any style and am tired of cracking my brain on how best to wear my hair. So with a stiff upper lip(pun intended) and my nose in the air, I wear the afro to work. Most times female colleagues help me comb my hair into the proper resemblance of the kain afro. Lolling in Spanish but really I’ve embarked on this journey and by God’s grace there will be no going back in Jesus name amen
AMEN!!! and I will do my best to support you through it. Try to wash your hair in braids or twists, your hair will shrink less when you do so.
My boyfriend didn’t like my natural hair initially. One day he had the guts to tell me “I like your straight hair better, you should have that all the time…it’s nicer.” I was really upset to say the least but I realized that I just have to do some things on my own instead of waiting for approval from other people. My mum also was not very keen on me growing out my natural hair because she struggled with it when I was little but now, she’s happy that I’m happy and that the hair is my problem to deal with not hers LoL. I’m so excited to still be growing my hair out though…it’s a frustrating but rewarding journey.
Hi, Ayikoole!
You story resonates so well with me. A male friend of mine once told me to fix weaves that he’ll like it better on me but when I gave him the look, he never brought it up again. haha! I’m glad you are loving and understanding your journey, that’s what it’s all about.