I want you to know that my decision to return natural was not influenced by media or a trend. It was a decision I made out of exasperation at a time natural hair was still very unpopular.
Chinwe Juliet
Nonetheless, I hope my bumpy journey to healthy hair will help and inspire you to embark on yours.
RELAXERS
I have a fuzzy memory of not wanting to touch my freshly relaxed hair when I was about 7years old. I cannot quite remember if that was the first time I got a chemical relaxer (perm) or if that occasion was one of many. All I remember feeling at that time was that if I touched it, it may lose its greasy feeling and sleek straightness.
I had become simply amazed at how my hair could look so sleek and straight like the people I saw on television and also like the little pretty girl on the relaxer box. I was so happy.
From then onwards, my hair was continually relaxed until I moved to a boarding school (Adesoye College Offa) in Nigeria.
There, all the girls were required to keep their hair in a short crop (Teeny Weeny Afro ) till they were in their final years.
I remember being completely depressed because I had become so attached to my hair that cutting it off seemed like a nightmare but I had to join the system and obey rules.
I was so upset.
And this made walking around looking a โboyโ much worse. In my mind, I was bald.
Thankfully, things began to look up soon after the school session began. I started to feel more comfortable with my TWA because I was not the only one rocking it. My mates and my seniors wore theirs with beauty and elegance and it motivated me more. However, neither of us seemed to know anything about caring for natural hair. It was just a simple logic of comb your hair when it’s wet because it feels softer and it will hurt less.
Fast forward to university where I was completely on my own for the first time in another country and another continent.
BRIGHTON, EAST SUSSEX, ENGLAND.
Being on my own, I had to think of how to manage my hair after I took out a Kinky braids hair extension I wore for two months coming into the country.
I still knew nothing about how to care for my hair so โluckilyโ for me I found a black hair salon and this is where my addiction to weaves began…
WEAVES
This is where I got addicted to weaves…
It seemed like every girl, (yes both black and white), was wearing a weave and it appeared to be the best available option other than braiding my hair so I installed weaves in different styles every few weeks after getting my hair permed and it became a habit.
In my final year of University, I saw a documentary by Chris Rock called, ‘Good Hair’. This documentary showed the toxic contents that were used in making relaxers and also revealed where human hair was sourced. I was so terrified and disgusted by the time I was done watching that I indefinitely put off relaxing my hair.
At the time, I had my hair in a braided style called ‘touch and leave’ or ‘pick and drop’ (I think it is called passion twists now) so I did not bother to learn anything about my natural hair. To be honest, at this time, I did not know there was anything called natural hair and I truly had no clue that my hair could grow and thrive in its natural state.
I also left this style in for about 3months without any proper care so when it was time to take it out, my hair was a tangled hot mess. (You have no idea.) My hair had started loc-ing itself and had sustained a significant amount of breakage.
So I decided that yanking the knots out with a comb and washing it will help make all the knots and tangles disappear (I told you I did not know anything about hair).
Needless to say, this was absolutely the worst idea ever!
I got out of the shower defeated with wet knots piled on my head. ๐ญ
I even got my brother and a male friend of mine to help me take out the knots and by the time we were all through, I had a headache and this was what my hair looked like.
Damaged Hair
A few days later, I was still trying to stick to abstaining from relaxers so I decided to re-wash my hair (I’m not sure I used a conditioner, haha! Ignorance is the Devil!).
Once I was done, I used a blow dryer on high heat to cook my hair dry.
I vividly remember wincing in pain in front of the mirror as I combed my hair from root to tip and it was at the moment that I spontaneously decided to revert back to relaxers.
“I cannot take this anymore” I told myself and then I hopped on a bus to the nearest Black Hair Salon.
Me: Hi
Salon attendant: You’re welcome.
Me: I need a perm but I washed my hair this morning, I heard it’s not good to relax ones hair on a clean scalp.
Salon attendant: That’s alright, we’ll just put some talc powder in your hair to make it dirty.
Me: Umm…okay.
Salon attendant: What relaxer do you use?
Me: Beautiful Beginners by Dark & Lovely
Salon attendant: Okay, sit in that chair.
As I sat in the chair, I silently watched her as she mixed the ingredients and parted my hair in four sections. She started routinely while I sat there waiting for the process to be over. However, what I did not expect was the ridiculously painful burning sensation that occurred before she had gotten to the middle of my head.
I cried.
Yes, I actually had tears in my eyes at the salon because the pain was quite unbearable. I recall pleading with the salon attendant to stop because I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I was okay with walking around with my hair half permed but she insisted she’ll be quick to put the relaxer on the undone parts of my hair and we would rush off for a quick rinse.
Ha! She definitely was not quick enough because that burn is almost impossible to forget till today.
When she was finally done applying the relaxer, I literally jumped and ran to the to the wash basin to have it rinsed out. It was while she was rinsing my hair that we found an open wound on the right lower side of my scalp (this was where she first applied the relaxer).
I had also lost most of the hair on my nape (but that was majorly due to lack of moisture, wearing tight weaves and using wool scarves).
Sadly, the perm had eaten away some skin on my scalp. That area of my scalp is still tender till today and it would have gone a lot deeper had I not rinsed it at the time I did.
Needless to say, that was the moment I decided NEVER to use a relaxer againโฆI WAS DONE.
Natural Hair
Needless to say, that was the moment I decided never to use a relaxer againโฆ
So, for the first time, when I got home, I Googled ,’how to take care of a black woman real hair’.
It was only through more research that I learnt that real hair meant natural hair.
I personally preferred visual explanations but at the time there were only a handful of YouTubers dedicating their channels to natural hair. However, as time went on, I researched further and found;
Torrianda7 (now known as Jungle City)- She taught me how to braid my hair myself and her mane, Lawd have mercy!
JcGrace- She is absolutely fun to watch and her hairstyling videos got me through my transitioning phase.
Kimmatube- Her tutorials were very detailed and extremely helpful. It was through her I learnt about the book, ‘The Science of Black Hair’ by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy.
My other favourites were: AfricanExport, WhoisSugar, Toni Daley, Nikkimae2003, NaturallyCandi, Alicia James and UrbanBushBabes.
These Vloggers helped me through my first year with natural hair.
I transitioned for seven months and impulsively cut my relaxed ends off when I noticed how limp and lifeless it looked.
At this stage, my new obsession became products. I wanted to try every organic or close to natural product I could lay my hands on.
I even purchased luxury brands like Ojon & L’occitane and although they lived up to expectations, they left holes in my pocket (I was still a student). Thankfully, in time I found affordable products that worked wonderfully on my hair.
Currently, my hair has been natural since June of 2011 and it has honestly been one of the best journeys towards self-awareness and purpose in my life. I have been questioned by strangers and even looked at interestingly and weirdly but I continue to be a source of inspiration to many.
So far, I have also educated myself more by reading books and studying Trichology.
My advice to anyone seeking to grow their natural hair, is to learn and educate yourselves, (you can start with this blog and watching my informative Youtube Videos). Natural hair is 100% beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
To start you off, here are 25 Tips & Tricks you should know about Growing Long Natural Hair.
Peace & Blessings,
Chinwe Juliet
20 comments
Omg you got me all emotional Igbocurls. Such a touching journey. I went natural in 2014 but stopped relaxing my hair in 2013. Like you I didn’t go natural because of the trend. I had long relaxed hair but I started experiencing dryness and breakage cos I dyed my hair and i was using flat irons. My mum was my inspiration to return natural. I created a hair page on instagram @diibarbiehhj in February to inspire others.
That’s wonderful! I’ll check out your page now. I’m so happy for you! Let me know if you need any help with your journey and I’ll try my best for you!
Wow…I really needed this…my relaxed hair seemed to have stopped growing on reaching a certain point…I traveled abroad during the Christmas period and it happened to be Winter…wo..if I had known I’d have done braids or something but no it didn’t click. I fixed weavon…side parting and I brought out my hair both in front and at the side…over there I noticed I literally had nothing left…only to return to Nigeria and after losing the hair I was almost bald in those areas….that was when the decision of transitioning came to me…I really hope it works for me…am yet to trim off the relaxed part tho..nice one @Chinwe
Omg! I remember when that happened to me. I was like where did all my hair go? **crying face** but you know, every disappointment is a blessing in disguise and look at my hair now. When I chose to grow my hair natural, I never knew it’ll be this long or I could inspire and help so many people. Keep it up dear and let me know if you need any help!
Oh my days I totally understand where you’re coming from. I went to ACO as well and I’m have now been transitioning for a little over a year. I’ve really flirted with the idea of cutting off my relaxed ends but I like the feeling of having something to “pack” LoL. Your blog has really inspired because I’m so excited about my natural hair prospects (my curls are gorg) but I’m super impatient!
Anyway, I’m so excited that you went to Adesoye too; everything on your blog seems a little more relatable haha!
Yaaaaay ACO babes unite. LOL! We are automatically school sisters now and don’t worry I’ll try my best to help you on your journey but yes, you have to be patient. ๐
Well, i’ve been natural at least 5 years. i’ve did the big chop and then just sew-ins and braids. the last time i decided to wear my natural hair daily, i perm rod it daily. needles to say my hair slowly broke off. i then began pressing it and guess what? now i have tremendous heat damage! ugggg…..your site has encouraged me. i won’t cut the heat damage off because my hair is kinda long. I’ll ensure to continue to follow you as i’m on my journey for continued support….tears….
I’m here for you! **hugs**
That’s why I started a blog in the first place. Feel free to ask me any hair questions. I’ll always be willing to help.
Hi, am so glad I found your blog, am a Nigerian and all your stories are quiet relatable. I have been on relaxer since I was young probably 7years of age, and I had a big chop before secondary school, before I started and continued relaxing, I’ve had many relaxer gone wrong but my hair managed to grow back until in 2011 when I had massive breakage from relaxer that I decided to search online on how to grow long hair, I’ve managed to grow my hair long with relaxers since then, now I’ve decided to transition into natural hair, am currently 7month post relaxer. You are quite an inspiration, because most naturalista av found are not Nigerian, so am glad to meet you. I would visit your blog more frequently now, and I actually need help in learning how to style my hair myself, considering am a medical student and am always busy. Thank you for inspiring me.
Hi, Sherifat!
I’m so glad I can inspire you. Thank you so much! It’ll be easier for you to download my App from Google PlayStore so you can always look up the information you need when necessary. Here’s the link below.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.igbocurls.universal
Which products do you use to make your hair grow healthy and long? Because i think im using the wrong products and i need help, im so confused
Hi, Cheryl!
The products you use need to have water as the first ingredient and should not have parabens, petroleum and silicones among a few. Send me an email with your hair type and current product you use so I can help you better.
Hi Chinwe, compliments of the season! I was inspired by your story! Thank You! Please I have a question. How can I stop my ends from breaking. I have been Natural for a year and 7 months (started with a twa) and I try to really take care of my hair, but my ends keep breaking off and I’m afraid I won’t be able to retain lenght (my hair is currently touching the end of neck). Please help
Thank you!
Hi Ene!
I apologise for my late reply, I have been on holiday. Do you do protein treatments?
Hi Chinwe! Your story really pulled my heartstrings. I know I should be much younger than all the other people that have commented here that must have finished secondary school, but I really need this. I started my natural hair journey in 2018. Before then, my hair was always being permed and I never liked it. I never even liked coming near the salon. Meanwhile, I was always fascinated with natural hair but never tried to persuade my mom to stop taking me to relax it. My hair was very long once relaxed but I still hated it despite the numerous admirers. The last time I relaxed it, I felt horrible! It was my worst perming experience ever! It was the next day I realized that 3/4 of my hair had burnt and was stuck to my scalp after a few days, my hair had started smelling like rotten eggs and my scalp was actually greenish! My auntie helped me to condition it and wash it and it miraculously recovered! Hallelujah!! After that experience, I decided I could not take it anymore and told my mother that I wanted to transition to natural hair. Nobody agreed me but I stood my ground. In fact, I stopped entering my Father’s car because of fear that he would take me to the salon to relax my hair. My hair is very stubborn and shrinks like God knows what. I’ve tried numerous treatments but after some time, their effect wears out. Now I’m moving to secondary school and the boarding type for that matter. I’m really glad I’ve found this website and need to know to do with my hair in boarding school and what to pack for it.
Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. When I was younger I never had to worry about my hair. The rule I my primary and secondary school was keep it very short and clean. So it was normal for us to walk around looking like little boys or bald. Lol. Because of this we were excited about going to the university because there you are allowed to grow your hair and actually look and feel like a girl. In the university I was natural for a year, simply because I wanted to attain some length before I start using relaxers. I could manage the relaxers while my hair was short, but as the hair grew, it was very frustrating. My hair which is thin and average density grew thinner. Whenever I have a fresh relaxer it was like half of my hair have been taken off. It was so light and had no discipline on a windy day. People stare at my hair as if they can see my skull. And in addition to the scanty relaxed, I was born with a beautiful forehead. Lol. When the new growth start coming up, I had no idea what to do with the relaxed part of the hair because it will be just start falling off. In 2015 I got tire of it. I sat infront of my mirror took a scissors and chopped off the relaxed section and I have being natural since then. And I so glad I took the step because learning to accept and love my natural hair has played a big role in self love and appreciation. I’m still learning, but I have come to discover a lot of things that are great for my hair. But I find it difficult to be constituent with applying the knowledge I have gained. Surprising that I have become a lazy natural. It wasn’t like that before. Growing my natural hair has taught me patience. Its a virtue. I do wear wigs a lot to work. Simply because I do not know how style my hair with this forehead of mine. I don’t do sew-ins because each time someone put pressure on my hair it breaks terribly and my hairline goes along with it. So I’ve not been to a stylist for about 4years. I do my hair myself. My hair is always in twists, scarfs, wigs and sometimes cornrows.
Hi Essong!!
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I can relate to so much of what you’ve been through! From going to a secondary school that made us cut our hair and walk around looking like little boys ๐๐๐๐ to not going to a salon in almost 10years!
From what you have shared you have a sensitive scalp that does not take kindly to pressure. Avoid protective styles that put any form of pressure on your head. Headband wigs seem to be the best option for this.
Also, try to wear fringe hairstyles since you are conscious of your forehead but remember you are beautiful just the way you are!
I hope this helps.